Yay! You’ve been accepted into law school. If you’re like me, you’ve prepared for this since the time you were seven. You knew what classes you wanted to take in middle and high school. You focused primarily on your History, Social Studies and English classes in middle and high school. You religiously watch Ally McBeal and rent every lawyer type movie you can think of hoping knowing if you relate to these fictional lawyers, you’re going to be the best lawyer ever!
You bust your butt in high school to get into a good college. You bust your butt in college to make your transcripts scream Lawyer with a twist. You study foreign languages because of course every lawyer should speak multiple languages because it is definitely a skill you’d need if you were to travel out of the country. You also pick one of the top “I’m obviously going into law school majors” such as English, Political Science, Criminal Justice, or History (otherwise known as “If I don’t get into law school I better be able to become a professor or I’ll be unemployed majors.”
You study your butt off for the LSAT which is one of the most difficult tests you’ve ever taken. It includes hours of reading passages and answering questions based on those passages, puzzles, and comparison questions. This test is completely useless as to whether or not you’ll do well in law school in my personal opinion. However, I got all but one of the puzzle questions right, so I’m not too angry. Puzzles rule.
The letters start rolling in decidedly letting you know where you’ll be spending the next 3 years. Luckily, I got into the law school I wanted to get into. All my friends whose majors included Interior Design, Criminal Justice, and English were left with one more year and then they had to fight unemployment. I knew when I got out of law school I’d rock my lawyerly ways. I figured even though my BFFs in undergrad were not as career sure or career driven as I, these people would be. I’m not sure how I felt about that.
I loved my friends in undergrad. They were laid back and artsy. They provided me with insight to what it is like for the other people in undergrad to have no idea what exactly they wanted when they got out of school. I still didn’t get it because I knew what I wanted from the first time I put a suit on my Barbie doll and called her lawyer Barbie. However, these girls are still on the feet and rocking what they do… although…their current careers have nothing to do with their college majors. Eh, so what?
I get to law school completely unsure of whom I’m going to meet. If you’re about to hit that path, here are the people you’ll meet throughout your three years. These people are completely different from each other but we mesh… and it’s what makes law school.
- The Midnight Toker: This guy is a total pothead. He’s completely intelligent and not only answers questions from professors in an intelligent way but also always with a hint of sarcasm that turns every time he gets called on into an amusing break of tension. You’ll often see this guy for a few weeks and then not see him again for a month or so. You wonder how he takes such a laid back approach to law school and it irritates you… but you also have mad respect for someone to tackle such a difficult education with ease and lack of anxiety.
- The Ex Sorority & Fraternity Royalty: These people have yet to realize they’re no longer going to mixers with their sorority and fraternity buds. They still wear their t shirts every day and make quick friends with people in law school that were in their sorority or fraternity at the other schools. These people immediately start dating each other and ignore everyone else. They make friends but no one is as close as their buddies they left behind. They even go back for parties at their old undergrads even though they have plenty of opportunities to party with their current comrades. (Don’t get me wrong. I am fine with sorority and fraternity peeps as some of my closest friends were in them, but law school really isn’t about that anymore and certainly isn’t about closing down friendships based on undergrad greek life…)
- The Know it All: This person is just as described. The Know It All. They know the answer to every question, every thought, and ever desire by professors. They spend their time in the library for hours on end. They make good grades but from day 1 they’re going for law review. They want to know more than the professor and often snicker if you get called on and don’t know the answer. However, sometimes this person will help someone out and pass a note… or whisper the answer. As you get closer to your classmates this person realizes it’s not always about competition.
- The Suck Up: This person realizes they’re not the smartest in the world. They’re clever though. They decide they don’t need to go over the top to study for everything; they will flirt and suck up to professors. They start learning the professor’s hobbies and use it to their advantage. This person might … say… purchase an “easy” button from Staples and pass it out to professors for them to use while grading their essays. I kid you not.
- The Type A Anal Retentive/ Ultimate Competitor: This person is what you think of when you think of law school. Think of Vivian in Legally Blonde. This person only wants those closest to them to succeed and at a lesser degree than them. They don’t want to help out anyone. They often ask you immediately what you chose for certain answers only to explain to you how YOU got it wrong. (Sorry Mr. Type A, I got it right- That’s why I got an A in the class and you got a B – BOOYAH). This person would never help you out if you didn’t know the answer because then they couldn’t give the right answer. This is the person that gets the top jobs, immediately gets the Mercedes, and is hated by everyone at their job and at home.
- The Mommy: These are the women who start popping out babies during law school and ROCK at it. These women not only make great grades but they also raise kids in the process. They have multitasking down to an art form. Mad props to these ladies.
- The Advanced Mrs. Decree Applicant: These girls come to law school immaculately dressed and flirt as well as sleep with everyone. How easy would it be to marry rich if you’re IN school with them. There are lawyer choices everywhere. Especially, the first year of law school, these guys have been beat down intellectually! They have low self esteem and high hopes. These girls date their way through friends and once they catch the perfect catch, their grades start dropping and then they start planning on their departure. “Uhm, I think that I really want to go back and get my Masters in English…” or “Uhm, I think I need to focus on my wedding. I’ll come back after we get through this busy planning process.”
- The Top Sir of Douchery: Sleeps with everyone. Is a complete ass to everyone. Thinks he is the shit. Is pretty much hated by everyone except his girlfriend. Very smart. Ex frat. Lacks any sense of niceties or manners. Isn’t there to make friends. Gets the good job with the Mercedes and burns every bridge along the way. Asshole.
- The Unsure Fisher of Compliments: Can be summed up with, “I think I did terrible on this paper. I’m not cut out for law school I’m never going to pass this class.” Your turn to respond. GO! Choose from A) You’re going to rock that exam. B) You’re the smartest person I know. No worries! You’ve got this! C) Let’s study together, I’ll get you ready. I know you’ve got this. I know you did great on that paper. You just lack confidence… Yeah, anything else, is the end of that friendship.
- The Passer of Time: This person goes to law school to figure out what they want to do. Typically, this is an Advanced MRS candidate or someone who immediately goes into another field.
- The Wanna Be: This person makes mediocre grades, and doesn’t fit into any of the other categories completely but tries to be in each one. They’re flakey so no one trusts them and they’ll trade up in the friendship ladder if given the chance. They judge everyone and always ask for advice but never take it. They want more than anything to be in the “cool crowd” that they often change their personality every day to fit whoever is around. This person is not the one you want to be around if you’re a strong willed princess like myself. Which brings me to…
- The Well Rounded Princess of Awesomeness: This person realizes quickly that if you are just one of the other lemmings, you’ll never be noticed. You have to grow up fast in law school and see who’s your friend and who’s using you. Instead of buying the black lap top you opt for a pink, green, or orange lap top or even use a note book with colored pens. You buy sparkle pens to study. You don’t let law school consume your life. You get hobbies. You don’t dress in black every day. You rock out in pearls, sundresses, and funky cardigans. You bust your butt to make law school work for your life, and you don’t plan your life around law school. You don’t buy in to the crappy advice the professors and career services are throwing out to you such as “Don’t show any originality. Wear only white shirts and gray suits to your interviews.” (On my interview with Madame Hearsay, I wore my cutest Black Jackie O stress with hot pink shiny flats.) You don’t believe that lawyers have to be boring. After all, you’re going to be a lawyer and you’re certainly not boring.
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